you are so lovely and kind and your words have helped me so much....
just a quick round up of whats going on....
I feel good today and that's a really big deal for me! lol
After the "bad" day I think the fact that I told Mr P that it just wasn't working and that Jamie would have to move schools and pull up her socks or things were only going to get worse was the first step
the next step was that Jamie was given a choice for the time being of earning the things that she believes are her god given right to own... for example she wants a laptop... fair enough but were not paying for the whole thing... she has to save half and we'll pay the other half... her solution was to not eat lunch and keep her lunch money... she even went to the canteen to find out what was for lunch so she could tell me the right thing when I asked her what she'd had.... she is willing to gain money by deceit but not willing to earn it with simple chores... make your bed, walk the dog, wash up etc.... she cried, Mr P shouted and then calmed down and we tried reasoning with her.... all we got was the shoulder shrug and the daft look on her face... probably a normal teenager thing!
Anyway she will be catching the normal bus that goes through the village and she will have to catch it at 7:30am and she'll have to get off at the right stop... Mr P will be doing a dry run with her on Saturday to make sure she knows where to get off... but perhaps a little responsibility is what she needs.... allegedly she is going to help out more around the house but at the moment she is still sleeping through her alarm and I am having to chase around after her... so we will see....
I decided as yesterday morning was nice to pop to the garden center, I do so love to be amongst plants and living things they seem to energise me and I met a friend to have a cup of tea and a slice of cake....
I bought some tins of biscuits and fudge for Christmas gifts ( I love pretty tins!) and then I headed off to pick up Daniel...
oh my goodness look at the time.... 8am... gotta go... school run to do....
chat again later!
love you all so much and thank you for your support and words of love and kindness!
x Alex
12 comments:
Hey you, I left a message yesterday re your previous post, but obviously it has disappeared into the ether! Basically, I just said it DOES get better. Not immediately, and sometimes you think it NEVER will, but it does. Glad things are looking brighter.
Hi Alex, Just been catching up on your blog as its been a while since I last visited.
Wow, there has been a lot going on with you lately hey. Dont apologise for getting it off your chest, if you didn't then it would be all the more worse. We're all here to listen to you (instead of you being the lovely person you are and listening to others) and offer support.
I dont have children but I can fully appreciate the stress and strain you are feeling. You cant do EVERYTHING I know you'd like to but sometimes you just get to the 'burnt out' phase and you need to take a breath and have some tea and hugs.
I have had times where I've felt that its all too much and have felt so low.....here's a HUGE SQUISHY HUG for you. I do hope things get a little easier for you from here in.
Em xxx
Glad you are feeling better! Like you, Mr H and I have had to sit down and decide that our boys have to earn things they seem to think are their given right. They just don't seem to learn. you tell them everyday to put the cereal back in the cupboards after they have used it, they apologise and then carry on doing it day after day. So, I don't buy them the cereal they like now. They get the 'rubbishy' stuff, and until they get it into their heads to tidy up a bit more and help out and put the flippin' cereal away, they will keep getting the 'rubbishy' stuff! They walk in front of me and knock something off, look back at it and carry on walking grrrrrr. So, although difficult, I am having to stand my ground and see if they can actually start to think about someone else for a change. fingers crossed. Hope the day carries on well! Kids hey! xxx
Hang in there, it will get better. My last one finally moved out.....I have a clean house, a full fridge and hot water left over at the end of the day. I can have girly soap and pink towels..........and I am so bored, theres no one to mess up the place, no-one to argue with. Send Jamie over here.
I'm so pleased you're feeling more positive today! I think it's a bit of a shock when kids start secondary school - they grow up so fast and start wanting all that independence so I honestly think the best thing is to give it to them - but within reason, of course and with some ground rules. A couple of times Will has phoned me because he's forgotten things and I've had to go running up to the school (thankfully it's only five mins away) but I've told him no more - next time he forgets something, he'll just have to deal with it, do a detention or whatever. Last week he realised he had cookery one day and hadn't told me what he needed so he just had to explain to his teacher that it was his fault he'd forgotten. Regards money, he has to do some chores to earn his pocket money and when it comes to expensive items, DS's, ipods etc, he's always had to save up for them himself as we just don't spend that kind of money on birthday or christmas presents. I tell him that if he wants more money he has to help out more, simple as that! I hope Jamie gets on alright on the bus!
Take care
Rachel xx
Now stick with those 'limits' you have given her. Remember, kids need limits and and she will get to appreciate them even if she misses the bus stop one or two times. Good for you guys!
Jim
Vent away, I hear it will get better. I say this of course not having children of my own... On a different note, I've awarded you the pretty blog award over on my own blog. I enjoy reading what you have to say.
Hi Alex,I am now a grandmother and see all this happening with my childrens children,I just wanted to encourage you and say that at the end of the storm(when they finallly!!!! grow up) girls have a partener or get married whatever have babies and you know who they want ??they want MUm! all of a sudden you become mother Teresa the best Mum in the world and all that lovely best friend, confidant and shopping pal.It is a hard road this parenting thing and there are no right and wrong ways I have always thought that if someone met my children along lifes path and then saw me and said "I met your son/daughter today what a lovely person,thats reward enough.So hang in there it will be a roler coaster ride but you will get your breath back again.Blessings from me Carole xx
So glad that you've had a much better day Alex.
It's great that you've set out the limits for Jamie, and you must stick to them! One sign of dropping the bar and kids are on it like a shot.
Hope you caught that 'lucky leaf'!
Thank you for your visit and sweet comment:o)
Hugs and best wishes
Rose H
And on it goes eh? I had big one telling me all her woes at silly o'clock this morning - unfortunately she's inherited my 'I'm only ready to share my problems late at night' gene. :(
Of course this morning when we were all tired I got the brunt of her grumpiness. Oh yes and on it goes....
(((hugs))))
Sorry I missed your last post, but I am glad that you feel a bit brighter, and hope you still do today! I think you are doing the right thing giving her more responsibility for herself. She is a teenager, and we all know what teens can be like! But it can grind you down day after day, but they do get better eventually! You need more me time, like your trip to the garden centre, things like that lift the spirits! Hope you have a happy weekend Alex. Big hugs. Susie xxxx
Dear Alex,
Congratulations on stumbling across King Alfred's Tower. The tower is a popular tourist attraction, and for good reason, but the surrounding woods are indeed beautiful. There are miles of forest tracks for walkers and cyclists but their real attraction is that so few people use them. Okay so on a summer Sunday you might pass a few others but most of the year that forest is a tranquil haven of peace with just the birds and the occasional deer for company. For a real treat go there at 4.30am on a still June morning and listen to the dawn chorus. Mind-blowing. But let's keep it to ourselves eh; we don't want everyone knowing about it! ;o)
Chris
PS I run the Alfred's Tower website.
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