First time I have ever rung 999!

Well the day started off fine... Jamie was picked up by her new friend and her mum and off they went to the cinema... Jamie was dropped back at about 3pm and all was good in the world... 

Then "BANG"

I thought what on earth was that..? 

thinking the kids had broken something big time to make that much noise... I poked my head out the front door and saw smoke... so I dashed out to see what was up... neighbours parked car was on the pavement blue car had hit it... hard!

dashed indoors grabbed the phone and dialed 999....

requested police... and an ambulance as the driver looked a little shook up...gave all the details and registrations of the vehicles involved...

2 SSDC council workers had stopped as well as the lady from the car behind who had witnessed the whole thing... 

after the police were called I dashed indoors told the children to behave and stay indoors... made the lady that had crashed a cup of tea, grabbed my coat and with cup of tea in hand headed back outside... the lady was quite shook up and held my hand in a vice like grip as she sipped her tea...

 

The ambulance arrived first and took the lady into the ambulance to give her a once over...

The police arrived one directed traffic the other seemed to spend his time in his speed catching camera van... I assume checking registrations etc... I heard the one directing traffic say to the other.. " what do we do with these vehicles? we don't get them cleared any more?" 

My Neighbours car had been shunted approx. 6 meters up the road... she was apparently doing 30mph...

eventually they took the witness's statement and she went on and the 2 SSDC staff had left 10 minutes earlier... 

I stood and watched with my elderly neighbour from 2 doors down and then the lady involved was out of the ambulance and stood by her wreck of a car... the ambulance left... the policeman spoke to the lady telling her that she would have to call her insurance company once she gets home... and that her insurance company would send out a recovery vehicle and take her car away in a couple of hours time... he then left!

I stood there and wondered what she would do now... I asked her if she had contacted anyone to come and get her... she said no... she would have to call a taxi... I asked if she had a number for a taxi that she would prefer and she seemed very confused and managed to get me a taxi rank business card from her handbag... I phoned the taxi rank in Sherborne and they came to pick her up eventually but she was confused and I was worried... the taxi driver knew her... apparently she uses them a lot... the last time this particular taxi driver had picked her up he had to rescue her from her bathroom floor... she couldn't get up!

we both had to help her to his car, he seemed very nice and I expressed my concerns for her and he told me he would make sure she got home after she had been to the chiropodist in Yeovil... 

I took the above photos for my neighbours and went indoors...

an hour later there was a knock at the door and a bloke from the recovery service was enquiring which vehicle was to be recovered... So off out I go again and explain whats happened and what he has to do... whereupon he says " I can't load that vehicle without blocking up the road and where are the police... they usually hang around to stop the traffic while I load on a busy road like this..." So I ask if he'd like me to call the police again...? he says yes please...so I wonder who would have a direct dial number for the police station...? 

 My mum is bound to have one... its turns out that she hasn't the direct dial number but she does have a non emergency number so I phone that ... explain the recovery drivers predicament and within 15 minutes the police officer is back..... 

The car is eventually loaded and I had a chat with the police man about the driver of the blue car... I think she was partially sighted as when I handed back the business card with the number for the taxi she could not see it and it was about 10 inches from her face on the left hand side... I also mentioned that she had commented to me that she always used this taxi rank as she hadn't driven in 4 months... the Police officer looked a little concerned and said the ambulancemen had said she was fine.... however he would contact the DVLA....

He also asked that I tell my neighbours when they got home that he would be around between 6:30 and 6:45 to pass on the ladies insurance details ... its now 5 o'clock...

Well with brush and spade in hand I went back out around 5:45 to sweep up the pavement and road and await the return of my neighbours who work in Exeter... needless to say they were gutted... I popped around with the pictures at about 6:30 and the policeman had not arrived yet....

Last night I lay in bed wondering if I had done enough... cursing myself for not getting the lady a blanket... wondering if the numbness in her right hand that she was commenting about as she got in the taxi was a stroke or a delayed reaction to the accident or just the cold.... wondering if I should have somehow gotten her into the house... then realising with all the steps leading to my house that she wouldn't have made it that far...

This morning I got up and rang the Chiropodist in Yeovil where the taxi had taken her and asked the receptionist if she had arrived safely and was alright... they had thought her a little confused and also said that her vision was impaired as she emptied he bag looking for her purse and could not see it on the side to the left of her... they phoned for a taxi with the same firm in Sherborne and she was collected and I assume returned home... the receptionist said that she would ring the lady and ring me to let me know if she was okay... no phone call as of yet though and that was 4 hours ago... 

I think I might ring the taxi firm as they had last contact with her... just to see if they know of any family she might have or a neighbour that could check on her... 

I know I am being daft but I do worry, its just the way I was created... ;-)

I will let you all know if I hear any more!

fingers crossed she is well and hopefully will not be purchasing another car...

Update:

I have just phoned the taxi company that took the lady home after her appointment in Yeovil and they picked her up today and took her to the doctors and took her home again and she's okay...

phew.... thank goodness for that! 

I shall sleep easier tonight! lol

x Alex

Monday Bloghop.... and a continuation of an idea

Jabacue over at Ocean Breezes has posted a simple post and I want to run with it! 

however my photo's are not as stunning as his... lol

Your beliefs become your thoughts
 Your thoughts become your words
 Your words become your actions
 Your actions become your habits
 Your habits become your values
 Your values become your destiny'

Mahatma Gandhi 

 

I believe there is good in everyone and everything even though sometimes you may have to look really hard to see it and it might be tiny and somewhat insignificant but that seed of good can grow and blossom if given the right help and support ..

My thoughts are therefore are of kindness, patience and love.  Of slowing down and actually seeing everything around me, to value what I have instead of coveting what I don't....

 

 My words are supportive, polite and hopefully truthful and kind.  I see less point in speaking negatively, it serves no purpose other to lower other peoples spirits and you gain nothing from these outburst...  its the emotional equivalent of a chocolate bar... you feel good for 5 minutes and then feel drained and low for the rest of the day... realising that you shouldn't have done or said what you did...

 

My actions are clear and  yet this is where I sometimes stumble... I sometimes lapse into self centered moments of selfishness...but I realise that these moments of self protection are caused by people who take ... they drain you and give nothing in return... have you ever met someone who after you have spent some time with them you feel exhausted... like your spirit and energies have been stripped from your core?  

This is where I find myself on the journey to being a content human being..

 

 My habits are changing and I am discarding bad habits as quickly as I can without loosing direction and purpose.. this is also a work in progress....

My Values are clear and to be honest totally achievable with hard work and perseverance....

After all the good things in life are worth the effort ...

My destiny.... will become clear .... eventually!

Just returned from our welly walk... 

(thats what they call it when they don their wellies and go out for a stroll at Daniels school!)

and the dog, Daniel and I are now happily tired....

Jamie has returned from town, her new bus buddy (whose birthday is the day before Jamie's) popped around at 1pm and her mum and dad dropped them into town then picked them up again and returned her home for 4:15... She bought Daniel a teddy bear! ahhhhhh

so I had better have a cuppa and clear up and get ready for tea... 

Sometimes the joys of parenting and housekeeping elude me and I wonder what its all about... 

I thank all you amazing wonderful people for keeping my minds eye focused on the bigger picture

take care

Alex

x

I started crocheting these Christmas bauble beaded stars last year...

I gave one to my Aunt for Christmas inside a hamper of goodies and I have just posted a red one to my blog land friend Lisa (Lisa Ridgeon Originals)

The pattern was from an issue of Crochet world... I think it was last December issue...

 

I have 3 pearlised white  ones to bead up and a gold one from last year that was never completed, I think from one ball of coats sparkly crochet thread I can get 4 stars...

Last year I bought the beads from a bead shop in town and at anything from 20p to £1.20 each it was a bit expensive... this year I have bought some beads from China so hopefully they'll be a little more affordable to make... but you know me and sparkly things .. lol

 Lisa (Lisa Ridgeon Originals) made some bits and bobs for a bazaar she's doing and I fell in love with an IPhone pouch and note book she had made in this lovely cute woodland fabric... needless to say I bought them.. I do so love having things around me that my friends have made... I think its because I know its been made with care and thought and love...

 included in my delivery was this beautiful Origami bird... I dare say with a fair few hours of swearing and cursing I could make them myself but I have asked her to make me 9 for my Christmas tree this year... obviously I will pay for them but how wonderful it will be to see something on my tree that has been hand made by a good friend.... and come January I shall wrap them up in tissue paper and keep them safe till next Christmas... 

 I think the one above will be on display all year round... I also have one large bird and 2 small birds that decorate my mirror in the lounge that Lisa sent me before when I bought felt cakes and last Halloweens ghosts... I do like birds...

 Another picture of Rachel's (Contented) mug mat... fantastic isn't it!

I have been learning a new crochet stitch which when I was reading the pattern made no sense to me at all... however I have now mastered the trinity stitch and if they had just said "crochet 3 together" I would have grasped what the hell they were going on about much quicker! lol

So I shall leave you now with all these creative makes by 2 of my bestest bloggy buddies and I would just like to thank you all for being my friends...

I do so love and appreciate you all

it would appear that I have been blogging for 2 years so I think a give away will soon be in order

once I have sent out a very late and delayed swap parcel...

oops!

big hugs to you all

Alex

x

Working my way back....

Last Night was Daniel's first school Disco... A "Halloween" disco and the first school event I have been able to drop a child at and leave... as I usually have helped out or organised or been involved in doing some aspect... it was wonderful to just be    "a parent!" and as I walked away I hoped Daniel would enjoy himself and I headed for the pub across the road for an hour and 15 minutes drinking time with Mr P.... what a strange experience... being "a normal parent" and not a PTA Parent...do you know what...? I LIKED IT! lol 

I am going to stick to my guns and not get involved this year and have a break from it all... they have a "new team" of energy filled mums and I am sure they will have as much fun doing it as I did... read into that what you will.... ;D

 I won a giveaway over at Contented and Rachel posted me this lovely hand made mug mat and a scrummy bar of chocolate and a little notebook... which the last time I saw it was firmly grasped in Daniels little hand.. probably never to be seen again as he does love to squirrel things away... can't think who he takes after! ;D

 

Isn't it lovely... ?

I have made my art deco writing bureau into a laptop desk and it sits lovely on top with my cuppa.... I am stunned that I haven't tucked into the chocolate yet... but its early days... it only the first day of the half term holidays ! lol

thank you sooooo much Rachel... you're one very clever and lovely lady!

 

Last Sunday Mr P and I woke early to a lovely frost and as the children were staying at nanny's (they went to watch Yeovil play football on the Saturday... Daniel curled up on the seat next to nanny and went to sleep... he finds football a little boring! lol)  anyway I digress ... Mr P and I went foraging for Sloes... we found a few and returned to make Sloe gin...

Over the past few weeks I have been a real martyr and I have been drinking local cider to get the empty bottles... (wink, wink.... hiccup!)

 So after half filling with gin... I started pricking the sloes and popping them in the bottle when the gin neared the top of the bottle we added 150g of sugar... popped the lid on and gave it a shake... trouble was we ran out of sloes... so we headed out again and found a ton of Blackthorn bushes and returned to carry on the manufacturing of Christmas yumyness.... the next problem arose when we ran out of gin... so as I was going to pick up the children anyway I popped in a few shops and tracked down some gin that I didn't need a second mortgage to buy... (so expensive!)

anyway once I arrived home with 2 tired children and bags of gin... (I have no clue what the neighbours must have thought!) and the production continued... Daniel helped weigh and add sugar Jamie helped liding and shaking bottles and now we have enough sloe gin to fill 12 pint bottles.... y-u-u-mmy! 

 I had to clear 2 shelves to store it till Christmas...

 

 This was a sunrise I captured from Jamie's bedroom window... I do love these crisp mornings and now we have the fire lit and the colours of Autumn are in flow I am in my element... I am not a summer person... being a Leo I love the colours of Autumn... 

 A quick update on Jamie and the bus situation... I can't remember if I mentioned it but I sent an email to our MP last month regarding my feelings and findings regarding the treatment I received with the school bus... I made clear to Mr Laws that I didn't expect him to get anything sorted just that he might like to know what happens in the day to day lives of his constituents and the bureaucratic hoops we have to jump through and stomach... well last Monday I received a letter from the House of Commons... from Mr Laws and he stated that he had passed my comment onto Somerset County Council... that afternoon I received a phone call from SCC and long story short I was offered a seat on the bus.... just goes to prove that complaining to a person in a position to do something who actually makes the effort to use their powers for good... can make a difference! ... I have to giggle but today I phoned back SCC and turned down the place as Jamie is loving the trip to school on the Service bus... she has made a friend too... a girl that lives in Yeovil goes to a private school in the next Village on from Castle Cary and her mum and dad now drop her at the same stop as Jamie... So I have to admit that from this experience I have learnt to trust my daughter and that everything happens for a reason... Jamie has become a little less annoying ... and a little more loving... and a little more responsible for herself... I am now trying to teach her some street smarts and hopefully all will be good... for a little while anyway...lol

Well I will try to keep it a little shorter between posts... but I have been busy crocheting and loving my full days to myself.. Daniel started school full time this week... its lovely!

Have a fabulous weekend 

take care

Alex

x

Naughty National Trust

 Wonderful beech trees in the field next door to Fyne Court... I love beech trees...

Now I know that regardless of it being as expected or being a bit of a disappointment a trip out and about is better than being stuck at home doing the chores... 

but when you get very few days to yourself to do something that "you" want to do its really quite annoying when a place is advertised as something its not its a little frustrating when you have travelled for over an hour to get there and its not very well sign posted 

.... Joanne and I decided to go to Stourhead again... and I (foolishly) suggested we try a new national trust venue called Fyne Court in Bloomfield in between Taunton and Bridgewater...

The National Trust say: 

  A real hidden Somerset gem, back under Trust management. Originally designed as the pleasure grounds of the Crosse family and the pioneer 19th-century electrician Andrew Crosse. Spend a magical day walking through the woodland garden, before meandering through bluebell-filled copses and the delightful meadows on the wider estate

 

Don't miss

• Walk through an enchanting landscape with folly and boathouse.
• Learn about the scientist Andrew Crosse, 'thunder and lightning man'.
• Visit our nature reserve and follow our nature trails.

  Now I fully understand that it is October and the leaves are falling from the trees and that the bluebells will not be flowering but this place was a real mess

 

 I think this is the folly....

 I am pleased with this image of the window... I would liked to have gone further in but the doorway was barricaded with red and white stripey tape and the roof didn't look too safe... I think I might get this one printed and use it for reference for a pencil drawing... perhaps add a candle stick or something...

 It is in a pretty bad state of dereliction with rubbish and graffiti on the walls... the windows are broken...

This tower has some kind of metal wheels and ironwork in the middle so it might house the controls for the sluice gates for the pleasure boating river that they believe the Crosse family built to boat on and to feed the 5 ponds in the lower part of the garden... the other tower is being used to store really old roof tiles... maybe from the boat house and piles of something covered in dusty paper...

 The boating lake/river is overgrown and empty of water... at the end of this is a lovely little boat house and its roof has gone and its full of silt and mud...

we bumped into 2 girls that worked for the National trust and they had a couple of grass rakes and were heading along the "boating lake path" to rake the leaves off the paths... after talking to them we found out that a national wildlife society (can't remember exactly what it was called!) has run it for the last 30 or so years as a nature reserve... and the National Trust took over its management last year... the NT must have leased or rented it to the wildlife people as it says on the nerdnet that the NT have owned it for 37 years...the walled garden is a mess and the five ponds are full of silt and very overgrown... the water looks stagnant and as its in a valley between the hills it feels very cold and a little sad...
in fact I wish I had taken photo's to share with you but, you'll think me weird but it felt so sad I just wanted to get out... large clumps of brambles are taking over and the trees are chaotic and self seeded...
I realise its good to have natural landscapes and it would be wrong to turn it into a formal garden but a wild woodland garden would suit this spot... but leaving something to go naturally wild is different to managing a wildlife woodland...it takes work and effort and knowledge and an ability to know when to stop and not go too far...
it will take an awful amount of work and money to get it up to scratch... its not an easy place to get to and as a source of revenue and income I think its probably not a viable venture, such a shame... there is a garden under all the chaos that someone put a lot of thought and effort into and it has been lost...

 Joanne was a little disappointed too... 

I think if the National Trust had advertised it as "a project in progress" or even that the garden was being re-worked it would not have been so disappointing...

I suppose this is one of those incidents of learning that to slow down you have to learn to appreciate the small things as well as the splendid wonderfully huge things... Stourhead is a wonderfully huge manicured beauty of a garden and house... this was one of the small things.. unloved and discarded... maybe one day it will be loved again.... 

In an attempt to save the day and take Joanne somewhere that would raise her spirits I called into Montacute House... it said closed on the gate... but I thought "nah... it can't be!" so I drove straight on in... parked up... we got out and wandered towards the reception... the door was closed but the gate to the gardens was open... as were both members and wouldn't have to pay anyway we walked on through....

 The driveway leading to Montacute house

  Joanne had never been there... we wander around the back of the house and commented on how quiet it was .... that's when we realised it was really closed after all! lol

So we will pop back there again tomorrow...

I am not a great lover of formal gardens.. I much prefer a more natural wild garden but the architecture is amazing so hopefully I will find a few bits and bobs to photograph... ;D

big hugs to you all

Alex

x

Lovely day....

 Front garden bird feeder.....

Up at 6am and it felt surprisingly good...

I have always been a bit of a night owl but I can see the benefit and merit of getting up early and going to bed a bit earlier...

well its 8am and I would normally be herding the children into the car picking up bags, asking all the usual questions... do you need the loo..? have you got your coat... lunch money.... PE kit..... homework...?

This morning there was a lovely sunrise (typical! lol) and Jamie, Daniel and I waited for the bus and once the driver decided that Jamie was really only 12 (can anyone suggest a type of proof of age that bus drivers will accept?) I paid £16 for a weekly ticket.... and warned her not to loose it!

So off she went, looking pretty pleased with herself and she should be back about quarter to five tonight... I am really quite excited as it will mean I can actually get tea and they can eat at a reasonable hour and perhaps get to bed at a better time... 

last night they were up late... its quite funny to listen to a 4 year old and a 12 year old talking to their dad at the back door about the stars and the planets... it was a beautiful clear night last night...

well I had better get going ... its 10 past 8 and I have a packed lunch to make... school dinners today was not suitable for Daniel... he wouldn't have eaten any of the selection today... but he'll have cooked for the rest of the week.... 

Thanks for all your kind words and support and whhhoooooo hoooooo I am not driving the 44 mile school run today... all I have to do is 12 miles with Daniel... yay!

big hugs to you all...

Alex

x

Update:

I have been to town and bought a new waterproof fleece, walking boots and some walking socks...

unfortunately I parked in a silly car park near a bead shop and I bought beads... but hey these things happen and I am sure I will deal with my addiction for sparkly shiny things one day... 

is their a "magpie's anonymous"? 

My name is Alex.... and I ... sob sob sniff... buy shiny sparkly things... hangs head in shame!

and even more good news....

I won Rachel's giveaway... its not the euro millions but it has made me just as happy... I love her work and the little coaster will have pride of place next to my chair... Thank you Rachel... me thinks with this sort of luck I should buy a lottery ticket this week! lol

if you should feel a slight tremor it isn't an earthquake its just ME doing a happy dance in her new walking boots! ;D

and I don't have to drive anywhere at all for the rest of the day!

Hooooooo-RAY!

hugs and stuff

Alex

x

Early bird catches the sunrise....

Unfortunately the sunrise was not to be.... 

it was dark and a little windy at 5:30am, I was ready to be picked up at 6:30am by my buddy Joanne and we drove to Sparkford to try and catch a sunrise after parking Joannes car and climbing a gate and wandering through someones field in the dark, avoiding dark patches on the ground suspecting them to be sheep poo and giggling like giddy girls we eventually made it to the spot that I had viewed a beautiful sunrise the day before during my school run but unfortunately the sunrise was a no show.  Misty, windy and total cloud cover obliterated it from our view.  

Unperturbed we jumped back into Sparky (Joannes car!) and drove around the countryside chatting like a couple of teenagers looking for inspiration... it was a misty windy morning and although we are promised some clearing skies later today our spirits were not dampened...

After all we were "out!" no breakfasts, beds, drinks or conversations to make with children or partners, just a couple of girls out on an adventure with a flask of tea (thanks Joanne!) and a couple of muesli bars.... the wind in our hair and a smile on our faces....

 After our random lane driving and reversing as we came face to face with bemused farmers in their monstrous vehicles we laughed as we looked for somewhere to go... maps discarded we happened across a sign for King Alfred's Tower... so we headed towards that...

Damp, windy, misty and beautiful....

we headed for the woods that surround the peninsula.... feet getting damper as we traipsed through the long wet grass... still chatting with the odd click of camera's and watching out for mud and puddles...

What a wonderful way to spend Saturday morning and I think with a few more mornings like this I might be able to re balance my equilibrium., re-center my mind and start to be me again.... I could have stayed longer but I had to be home at a sensible time so that Mr P and Jamie could do a trial run on the bus to Ansford so that she's ready for Monday morning when she'll be making her own way to school... 

  

 I was home by 10am and everyone had coped... the house was still standing... and Daniel (at least) missed me! lol

I can sit and plan my next day out, which will be Tuesday when Daniel has a full day at school... I have even bought walking maps so that I can see more of the place that I live in and yet never explore

Thank you Joanne for joining me on my little jolly it was lovely to have someone to chat and prat around with... its good to be a wally every once in a while! lol

Hope you all having a lovely weekend 

Chat again soon

Alex

x

Thank you all sooooo much

you are so lovely and kind and your words have helped me so much....

just a quick round up of whats going on....

I feel good today and that's a really big deal for me! lol

After the "bad" day I think the fact that I told Mr P that it just wasn't working and that Jamie would have to move schools and pull up her socks or things were only going to get worse was the first step

the next step was that Jamie was given a choice for the time being of earning the things that she believes are her god given right to own... for example she wants a laptop... fair enough but were not paying for the whole thing... she has to save half and we'll pay the other half... her solution was to not eat lunch and keep her lunch money... she even went to the canteen to find out what was for lunch so she could tell me the right thing when I asked her what she'd had.... she is willing to gain money by deceit but not willing to earn it with simple chores... make your bed, walk the dog, wash up etc.... she cried, Mr P shouted and then calmed down and we tried reasoning with her.... all we got was the shoulder shrug and the daft look on her face... probably a normal teenager thing! 

Anyway she will be catching the normal bus that goes through the village and she will have to catch it at 7:30am and she'll have to get off at the right stop... Mr P will be doing a dry run with her on Saturday to make sure she knows where to get off... but perhaps a little responsibility is what she needs.... allegedly she is going to help out more around the house but at the moment she is still sleeping through her alarm and I am having to chase around after her... so we will see....

I decided as yesterday morning was nice to pop to the garden center, I do so love to be amongst plants and living things they seem to energise me and I met a friend to have a cup of tea and a slice of cake....

I bought some tins of biscuits and fudge for Christmas gifts ( I love pretty tins!) and then I headed off to pick up Daniel... 

oh my goodness look at the time.... 8am... gotta go... school run to do....

chat again later! 

love you all so much and thank you for your support and words of love and kindness! 

x Alex

Lost it big time this morning....

Jamie is at the age where if its not her mess why should she pick it up....

So while I was grabbing a few bits before flying out the door this morning to do the school run I could hear her out on the drive mythering on at Daniel about his tissues that he left on the back seat of the car.... first thing that crosses my mind is " oh damn, I didn't pick up those tissues" because after all everything around here is my responsibility

as I continued to listen to her go on at Daniel a switch in my head clicked and I was annoyed....

She could have just picked them up and put them in the wheelie bin next to the car....

not her mess though!

so why be helpful to me?

Unfortunately by the time I got to the car I lost it and it all flowed out...

Last night she asked that I go on Amazon and buy her 2 more books by the time I came down from putting Daniel to bed at 8pm she had left Amazon on the laptop and the books in question on the screen... 

this is a girl that doesn't tidy her room or keep it tidy, moans if I ask her to walk the dog, can't be bothered to play with her 4 year old brother (who thinks she's the best thing since sliced bread) tells "white" lies to get out of anything that she doesn't fancy doing and yet I am to be hounded in my own bed at 10 o'clock last night by her asking if I had bought them for her... Mr P nearly hits the roof and I point out to Jamie that she should be in bed and now is not the time...

This is a twelve year old girl that begs me not to move her to another school as she has "friends" and yet she spent the whole of the summer holidays at her nanny's or here and didn't make an effort to contact any of these "friends" for 6 weeks...

Well I start out on my daily routine this morning driving in a not too good a mood... livid would cover it I suppose.... luckily my guardian angel sent speed restricting traffic to cool my driving and save us from ending up flipped over in the hedge... However by the time I reach Sparkford it all falls apart...

Before you enter the village of Sparkford there is a garage and a Mc Donald's on the A303 a road runs behind this garage and if you don't want to go around the roundabout you can nip along this fairly narrow 2 lane road... there are houses on the right of me and the garage is on the other side of a hedge on the left...

Children waiting for the school bus to Ansford wait in a gap in the hedge... they have a habit of leaning forward into the road which is frankly dangerous.. and last week they laid debris, branches etc across the road which I luckily veered around as there was no traffic coming the other way...

This morning however I was not in a mood to ignore the item thrown at my car as I passed and if I hadn't been in such a state I would have probably found some humour in their horrified faces as I screeched to a halt and reversed back up to them.... Jamie slowly died in the back seat of the car as I put on the hazard lights got out of the car and went to have a "chat " with these youngsters...

I was so annoyed that I quite frankly can't remember what I said ... I am pretty sure it was swear word free and although ranting I think it was semi coherent! lol

I am sick of people putting up with this kind of behaviour, I am sick of fully grown adults being too worried about the consequences of dealing with these stupid children... if there parents want a word with me "bring it on!" While they are in a school uniform they are an advert and a reflection on that school they can be 11 miles from school but they should behave like they are at school... mind you considering some of the tales I have heard from Jamie about mass fights in a part of the school that is not watched over by teachers perhaps this is how they behave at school... 

I further embarrassed Jamie as I pulled up outside the front of school turned off the engine and went into school to apologise for loosing it with their pupils and to make them aware of their behaviour while waiting for their bus... by this time I was almost in tears... and I left my name, and someone will be calling me later...

I am tired, I am low, I am really fed up...

I manged to drive a few miles out of Ansford before I had to pull over and have a good cry... Daniel was a little confused asking whats wrong Mummy...?

but after a couple of minutes I took a few deep breaths and made it back to Queen Camel in time to get Daniel into school.... after buying him another school jumper as he used the sleeve of his jumper as a hanky yesterday and I ran out of time to wash it and get it dry last night... I stood in the playground and held it together behind my sunglasses...

I know its only a car trip, and i feel pathetic that I can't cope with it but its just so ... oh I don't know... I can't even think of the words...

Next week they have decided that the nursery children can stay all day on Tuesday and Wednesday, so at least I have something to look forward to.... I can only assume being a parent comes more naturally to some than others... one lady at school is expecting her 6th child and the 5 she already has are all under 7years old... and she seems to revel in being a mum or do these people go home and cry and scream and shout and feel tired all the time and are just as screwed up as me...? she is 9 years younger than me so perhaps I would have coped better 9 years ago... or perhaps I am just selfish wanting time during the day to myself and begrudging taxiing my kids around the countryside... 

Perhaps my oldest brother has it right

"I am not having children as it will interfere with my lifestyle"

should that have been my motto 12 years ago?

I am sure the good times should be balancing out the rough times... do I have a torrent of good times to come my way? or am I just too tired to notice these good times happening around me?

Sorry to be so down, but this is my space to air my thoughts and if I do end up flip side in a hedge then at least you'll all know why, I have noticed that people around me have stopped asking the "how are you?" question its official ... 

I have become a bore! the emotional leper...

People around here are eager to know me when I can run and organise a fete or serve teas and coffees in the village cafe or help with arts and crafts at the pre-school but once you are worn out and unable to function in the way that they require of you its small talk and subject changing... looking the other way during a conversation to break to topic... Your not being the person they want you to be and that's not comfortable or desired

Why in our society is showing emotions a weakness? why are we shunned the minute we show a flaw or inability to cope...? 

The old boy down the road is shunned by neighbours because he is old, cantankerous and lonely and suffering from Parkinson's disease... he is constantly being ripped off by woman of all ages offering him support and comfort in return for him paying for this and that.... he spent over an hour Saturday sat in my kitchen shakily drinking a cup of tea... he cried, he talked, he laughed and I listened...

perhaps that's my problem I listen to people... I attract the lonely and the fed up, perhaps like attracts to like...

Mr P was not impressed, he rolls his eyes every time I spend time befriending the strangers that are ignored by the many...

Friday I picked Mr P up from work and I popped into Asda while Mr P and the children sat in the car and waited, when I came out after grabbing a few essentials it was lashing it down with rain... I had a vague idea where Mr P was parked but headed for the bus shelter half way across the car park... an elderly lady stood there muttering and cursing as the shelter provided no cover as the roof  wasn't deep enough and too high,  while I stood scanning the car park for Mr P I chatted to her about the state of things today and I listened to her rant... she ended it with a smile and an apology for being a grumpy old lady... but at least I had listened and she felt that she had been heard...

So on that note I apologise for being a middle aged grump, I am smiling at you all and I thank you for listening...

xxxx

Alex

Just checking in....

I am still walking, breathing and driving 50 miles a day... thought I had better just pop in and let you all know that I am still around! lol

I won't bore you with all the dreary details as I am fed up with mythering on about it... but I have to be quick as Daniel needs collecting at 12:50 and it takes 15 minutes to get there...Daniel has 2 more weeks of half days and then he starts full days.... to be honest he's ready now... but I do love the way he runs towards me with his arms spread wide saying "Mu-u-m-mmy!" little things like that make my on off day almost bearable...

The sun is shining outside and I am pondering what to do for the hour and three quarters before picking up Jamie.... we have had a lot of rain and everything is very wet... I suppose I really aught to come home and start getting tea ready but the blue skies and sunshine are calling me to be out in the fresh air recharging my flat battery...

I have been creating so I will take some pictures later and post them... 

and a little thank you to Mother of Purl for dropping me a line through Ravelry... 

I suppose if I change my perspective things will eventually look up.... just need the umpf to get up and make that difference in my life... and perhaps if I just accept the cost and the travelling and the tiredness then it might become easier... ;D

One quick funny though!

I did a big Chicken roast dinner yesterday and as I took the chicken out of the rottisserie and laid it on the carving plate Daniel came into the kitchen... he poked his nose over the edge of the counter top and stared intently at the chicken.... then with a inquiring voice he asked

"is that chicken dead?"

I heard Mr P choke on his cup of tea in the lounge and I answered

"yes, its dead..." 

whereupon he inquired...

"why have you chopped off its feet and head?"

I told him that they are like that in the shop where I bought it and that we don't eat the head and the feet, his reply was 

"oh... we only eat its body don't we?" 

and then he told me he didn't want any, he'd just have some yorkshire puddings and peas and sweetcorn.... 

I realise yorkshire puddings are usually served up with beef but this young man would eat them for breakfast if he could! lol

well my alarm has bleeped on my phone... had to start doing that as I fell asleep one morning a week or so ago and was 15 minutes late picking him up!

woops!