Expectations, assumptions and fairytales....

     Life is full of them... you grow up watching musicals and happy ever after endings where men are romantic and chase after their true love to make them theirs, you hear of those few true romantics that exist that do whisk their girlfriends and wives away for romantic weekends and buy them gifts and flowers and make an effort to make them feel special and loved... but you soon realise that this is a minority not the main.... but you never loose the hope that one day this will change and the man that you have chosen as your partner will one day lavish you with love and a gesture that makes you smile from the center of your heart to the tips of your toes... 

     Being the youngest of 4 and the only girl I had so many assumptions as I grew up... I assumed as I neared 17 that like my friends at school and college I would be given driving lessons for my birthday present and that like my brothers a car would be made available... they drove dads Maxi... but nothing happened ... no lessons appeared and I had met my first boyfriend at 15 and a half and we were together for 7 years...he drove me around and my dad would fetch and carry me the rest of the time... mum doesn't drive and it would appear Samways women do not do this...

     When I eventually met Les in 1996 I still didn't drive and at 25 I had an idea of getting married and doing it differently to my cousins and middle brother who had weddings of escalating amazingness as fashion and venues grew in size and splendor... I did not see the point in trying to match these events but I had an expectation that dad would look forward to walking his only daughter down the aisle... Les and I got engaged in Brighton a month or so after we got together and we were met by no real reaction apart from surprise... no party no gifts no cards... that I can recollect... I am not sure if you usually get any of the these things but again ... expectations! 

      So Les and I researched weddings and decided that we would get married abroad in Austria, his Uncle loved Austria and visited it many times during his life and as I had never met him before his death and Les's mum was very close to her brother we thought it would be lovely to take his mum and dad there especially as at that time they had never been abroad, my dad would not go to Austria as he was stationed there during the war and mum suggested that we just go off and get married and come back and tell them... which would have hurt Les's mum and dad... so instead we just lived as married people and have been engaged for the last 14 years...

     So we bought a house, got a dog... had a baby! and Les and I live as a married couple, faithful and true in our relationship... we support each other and have moments when we despair of each others inadequacies... but we have never argued never screamed and shouted at each other whether this is a good thing or a bad thing I have no clue.. its just the way we are... a few years later when we could afford it we had Daniel and I became the mum that I couldn't be with Jamie as our situation required two incomes at the time and Jamie spent the bulk of her childhood with my mum... which I resented....

     Daniel was born in High Wycombe where we lived for 18 months and I became a grown up.. no mum to make my life easy by "helping with the baby" I had to cope, I had to learn and as I have very few memories of Jamies childhood it was like being a new mum... and when we did eventually move back to Somerset I was begining to be me.... 

     So after a few years here getting more niggled by the assumptions of neighbours, school and officials that I am Mrs Porter I have decided that its about time that I do have the same surname as the rest of "my" family and as I do not covet the attention of walking down the aisle and as I am not a religious person I think I am more spiritual in my beliefs and that the registry office looks like an office... I am opting for the unconvential and just changing my name and title by deed poll... Les and I will both have new rings to replace our engagement rings

     So I have paid my £53 and the paperwork is hopefully on its way... I will sign it in front of a witness who also signs it and thats it! all done.... I will have 3 copies of the document to send to the DVLA, Passport office and bank and I will be known from that day forth as Mrs Porter, a Samways no more!

I think we'll go out for a meal and its strange but I feel so excited at the prospect of being a Porter... I have even found a ring that will mean something to me as its my birthstone (Peridot) with Les's birthstone (diamond) either side... I hope they still have it in stock...

Unconventional .?.. perhaps.... but for anyone that knows me... its very me! ;D

very honest and open, you wear your heart on your sleeve and always try to remain positive and look on the bright side even when things are really tough.
You are always thinking of others and should spend a little more time thinking of yourself xx

Beki  (facebook blogfriend!)

the above is so true... how can someone who I have never met in person know me so well..? ;D

this is something for me.... oh and I eventually learnt to drive about 6 years ago when I worked for the council they paid for 20 lessons as they wanted me to take on the driving of a 3 and a half ton van to do collections...

This post is more a diary entry and a theraputic release... Mum dislikes me being so open and honest, its not the done thing... but if it helps me its worth doing... 

I hope your all having good weekends... Daniel is suffering from his first bad stomach so I am reasoning with an almost 5 year old that popping in your pants could have tragic concequenses... 

take care

Alex

x